Evil Monkeys
by Dark-Magic-Shine
Summary: Lily and Sirius run into Snape who looks um.....different but when evil monkeys come and the take there brains what will happen to them and will they get them back? it really funny -one shot- LJ


**_Ok this is Evil Monkeys. I wrote at school and now Im going to post it . Its a one shot and I think its funny so does Sam and Im not sure about Bob and Thorn but its ok. Now the story can start!_**

**Evil Monkeys **

Sirius Black and Lily Evans were walking down the corridor. They had just gotten out of detention. They had put Super No Remove Glue in Snape s Hair.

Everyone knew that there's a way to get it out. All you have to do is soak it in a potion for 12 hours. Madam Hamilton had the potion because Sirius had eaten half a jar, in this first year, as a dare by James.

The only sound that could be heard in the corridor was their feet hitting the ground. Lily was mad at Sirius. He had pushed her into a suit of armor and told Jon, the caretaker, that she pushed it over as a joke.

So Jon made her clean and polish all of the suits. While Sirius sat and watched her. Then Sirius also thought it was funny to dump hot wax on her then spike her hair with it. Sadly the wax dried to her hair and skin.

Jon wouldn't even let her go wash it off. He told her it would wash off when she showered.

"Lily I said I was sorry." Sirius said yet again. Lily just looked away. She walked on. Not saying a word to him. "Lily, please forgive me! If not for me then for James." Sirius begged.

Lily stopped and looked at Sirius. "Don't you ever talk about James in front of me again." Lily had tears running down her face. Then she turned and walked away on her heals.

Sirius stood there for a minute then ran after her. "Lily what's wrong, what happened?"

Lily turned to him and looked him in the eyes. "We broke up. Sirius we broke up. WE BROKE UP!" Lily said getting louder each time until it was a scream. Lily broke down and fell on her knees with tears running down her face, and onto the floor.

Sirius bent down to the ground and put an arm around her. "What happened Lily?" He asked. She looked up at him. Ill tell you." Lily took a deep breath, and brushed away her tears.

**Flash Back **

Lily walked into the common room. She had just gotten back from the library. (She had some extra homework from McGonagall). She looked around, and couldn't see James anywhere. He must be in his room. She thought.

She was about to go up to her room, to shower, when an owl taped on the window. Lily walked over to the window to let it in. It dropped the letter at her feet, and flew out again. "Its James letter not mine." She said as it flew out. Lily took a deep breath and started walking up the stairs to James room.

Lily opened the door to his room, and saw her best friend, Emily, kissing her boyfriend James. Lily dropped the letter and ran down the stairs.

"Wait Lily!" James yelled after her.

**End Of Flash Back **

Sirius had Lily into a hug, by the time her story was over.

_BANG_

Lily and Sirius jumped up, and had their wands out. They were back-to-back and looking around the corridor. There was no noise.

"What do you think it was?" Sirius asked

"Who knows..." Lily replied.

After awhile nothing happened. They put their wands away, and started walking off again.

"How come odd things always happen when Im around?" Lily asked. Sirius didn't say but he did shake his head.

Lily looked at Sirius. " Im sorry Sirius." She said.

"Yea, yea, what ever you say." He replied, with a smile. He waved a hand in the air.

"Look what you and your Mudblood friend did to me." Snape yelled.

He had just jumped around the corner. But he looked different. He was bald. The top of his head was black, gray, and brown. It had bumps, and greens purple slim oozing out of them. It was also letting out a bad smell of rotten eggs, and jam.

Lily fell to the ground to throw up, and Sirius turned away and closed is eyes.

"See you can't even look at me!" Snape yelled.

After Lily had gotten up, she and Sirius recovered themselves. They all just stood there. Still Lily, and Sirius could not look at Snape.

Snape reached forwards and grabbed Lily by the arm and hair. He pulled down on Lily down. She was about to scream, but she wouldn't let Snape do that. Lily brought her arm up, and hit him hard in a place that doesn't get much light.

Snape fell to the ground, and Sirius started to laugh. "Ouch, Lily that was funny, but ouch." Sirius said.

_BANG!_

Sirius and Lily looked around, to see what the bang was. Again they didnâ�™t see anything.

_BANG_ again.

"What is that sound?" Sirius asked. Before Lily could answer, Snape somehow got up and ran down another corridor.

Both Sirius and Lily looked down, to where Snape was, but couldn't see anything. The both of them turned around, and saw monkeys lots and lots of them. Red, brown, and even gray monkeys. Their eyebrows furrowed, and there red eyes glowing like hot lava.

" Si-Sirius what are those? They don't look like the monkeys I see at the zoo" Lily asked, taking a step back.

"Evil Monkeys." He replied, also taking a step back.

The monkeys ran at them. Lily and Sirius both pulled out their wands, but it was to late. The evil monkeys had them on the floor. They opened Sirius and Lily's heads up, and pulled out there brains, and then closed their heads up again. (Freaky)

Just as fast as they had come, they were gone. Lily and Sirius both got up and left to the common room. Not saying a word to each other. Just walking.

They got to the common room and saw that it was empty except for Remus and James. When James saw Lily he jumped up, and ran over to her and pulled her into a hug.

"Im sorry Lily. It was Emily she kissed me. I would never kiss anyone but you." James said looking into her eyes. But Lily looked like she was off in space, or a different world, as did Sirius.

Remus walked over to them. He smiled at Lily and Sirius. But they didn't smile back at him, or say hello, like the always do.

"Err... hello guys." He said. Still they didn't say anything. Then they both walked away and up to the rooms to shower, and/or go to bed.

In the morning Lily and Sirius came down the stairs at the same time. Lily was wearing a pink and white dress. It had little light pink colored flowers all over. The dress was very puffy and had laces all over. Lily also had white gloves that went to her elbows. Her hair was in a bun with pink flowers in it.

Sirius was wearing a plain white t-shirt and a pair of black pants. He was a tie with pink flowers, and in the jacket, that he had, there was also a pink flower. His hair was tied back in a ponytail.

Everyone in the common room stopped what he or she was doing, to look at the two of them. Sirius walked over to Lily, and bowed. When he came back up he took Lily's hand and kissed it. Then he held out his arm for her. She took it and they were off.

When they were out of the common room everyone looked at James. James looked stunned at what he just saw. Then he got up and walked out of the common room. Remus was right behind him.

When they reached the Great Hall everyone stopped eating and looked at them. People had food in their mouths, and others who were about to put something in it. It was like they were stunned. Lily and Sirius walked down the hall and to there seats at the Gryffindor table.

James just walked in, as they were sitting down. Again everyone looked at him. James was getting mad. He walked over, and sat down next to them. Then Remus walked in and sat down with James. Then the whole Hall started to talk.

"Miss. Evans and Mr. Black please come up here." Dumbledore said standing up. Sirius stood up and waited for Lily. They linked arms, and walked up to him. Everyone glanced over at James.

"Yes Sir, how may we help you?" Lily asked, with a smile on her face.

"What happened between you two?" McGonagall asked, before Dumbledore could. Dumbledore looked at her then back at Lily and Sirius. "Right is err...everything okay with you two?" Dumbledore asked.

"Why dear, Sir and Madame, everything is fine. Im with the man I love, and it's a nice day out." Lily said, looking into Sirius eyes.

Sirius looked back. "I love you too Lily flower." With that Sirius and Lily kissed on the lips.

Again everyone looked at James. "Bloody Hell stop looking at me!" James yelled, standing up.

"Mister Potter! Watch your mouth!" McGonagall ordered, but James was already out the door

"We must get to class now, Sir." Lily said as she, and Sirius walked out the Hall and went to class.

Dumbledore sat down in his chair, and watched them leave with everyone watching them. "I fear for the world." He thought.

Remus looked around to make sure no one was listing. "Evil Monkeys." He said under his breath.

Remus got up, and ran out of the Great Hall.

Two days past. Every day Lily and Sirius dressed different but always acted like they were in love. Today they were dressed in black. They had ears, noise and lip rings. Sirius had purple hair that was in a Mohawk and Lily had blue and black spikes. (Wow)

They were sitting in the common room when Emily walked up to Lily. Before Lily could speak Emily spoke.

"Lily look, Im sorry. I didn't mean to kiss James. I knew you two were dating, and that you really liked him. You two are meant to be together. Not you and Sirius." Emily had tears running down her face and then she took off up stairs.

"Your in love with James?" Sirius asked.

"Im in love with James?" Lily asked herself.

Then James came running into the room with Remus behind him. They both had smiles on their faces. "We found out how to get you back to normal!" Remus said happily.

Both Sirius and Lily looked at him, and then went back to what they were doing.

"But we are normal." Lily said. Sirius put an arm around Lily. James tried not to jump at Sirius, and send him to the hospital wing.

After awhile Sirius went to bed. So it was only Lily, James and Remus, but after Sirius went upstairs, he came back down and kissed Lily good night. Then finally went back to bed. Remus had to hold James back, when Sirius kissed Lily.

"Ok I want to know something. Am I to be with Sirius or James? Then I want to know what's wrong with me." Lily asked looking at them

"You, Lily Evans are to be with James Potter." Remus started. "You two will have lots of kids and name the boys after me, and the girls after Sirius. Now what happened to you is a sad, sad thing. Evil monkeys stole your brains. The only way to get them back is to fight the monkey king." Remus said.

"Then lets go... I can fight a monkey king." Lily exclaimed, pulling out her wand.

"Your not going with me are you?" Sirius asked, jumping down the stairs. Sadly, he ran into Lily, who ran into Remus, who ran into James.

They all got up and looked at Sirius, confusedly, and then the four of them ran out of the common room.

"So where are the Evil Monkeys at any way?" Lily asked.

"Guys ... We don't have to look for the monkeys." Sirius said, turning to them.

"Why not? I want Lily back!" James exclaimed, getting a little mad at, one of, best friends.

"No, its not that! Its just that they found us first." Sirius replied.

"Oh." James said going read in the face.

Lily saw a big monkey. She guessed it was the Monkey King. She ran to it, and stopped. She bent over and looked the Monkey King in his eyes. "May I have mine, and Sirius, brains back?" She asked

It was like the Monkey King understood her. It reached behind his back, and pulled out two brains. You could tell whose was whose. Sirius was the one as small as a pea, and Lily's was a little bit bigger then normal brain.

Lily reached out to take the brain but the monkey pulled back.

"Fine Ill play your way." With that, Lily jumped at the Monkey King.

All of the monkeys, and James and Remus, jumped at each other. Sirius on the other hand stood stock still looking into space, with drool running down his face.

"Stupefy!" They all yelled, hitting monkeys, and stunning them. After a long time of getting cut, and taken to the ground, they had stunned all the monkeys. They looked down and saw their brains.

James and Remus picked up the brains and gave it to their owners. When there brains touched their skin, it went back inside their heads. They were back to normal.

"James! Remus! Sirius!" Lily cried hugging each of them.

"Prongs, Moony, Lily so glad to be back." Sirius said with a smile.

"Do you remember anything about what happened?" Remus asked.

Lily and Sirius looked at each other. "No" They said together. Remus smiled grew bigger. "You two thought you were dating, and you even kissed each other."

"Sorry Prongs didn't mean to kiss Lily. Oh and Lily you're a great kisser." Sirius said raising his eyebrows, up and down.

"EWW!" Lily cried, running behind James. James just smiled.

"James Im sorry. I should have known you wouldn't kiss Emily, and mean it." Lily said behind James. Again James just smiled at her.

Time passed, and Lily and James got married. They had a son that they did not name after Remus. They named him Harry, and from this point on, you should know about Harry James Potter.

**End **

**Ok if you want to know about Peter Ill tell you. Peter was hogged tied in the basement and was forgotten.... please review!!! . **


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